ways_infirmary | (no subject)

(no subject)

[OOC: from here]

Angela comes running into the infirmary, making a beeline for the rest room, praying no one is in there.

He promised me.

There isn't, and Angela falls to her knees before the toilet, emptying her stomach violently into the bowl.

I don't know, we could have left the room as a monument, but I'm a believer in standing up and keeping on going...

Several times.

No, there was a reason. I promise.

She's sweating and shaking when she's done, and crouches on the floor, covering her head with both hands as she tries to calm down.

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Melou is in the infirmary, of course. His sleep schedule is all backwards, so he's really only just waking up when Angela runs through.

Worriedly, he makes his way over to the room and leans in the doorway. "Hey, what's wrong?"

She looks up at him, not bothering to push the damp hair out of her face. She's shaking so hard that her voice comes out trembling.

"M-met s-s-omebody in the b-bar..."

She shakes her head a little bit. She can't think. She struggles up to her feet, leaning against the cool tile wall.

"He knew the person who kidnapped me."

She looks down, anywhere else but at him.

"Told me I should just stand up and keep going like it didn't matter..."

Melou frowns. It's not bad advice, just not what she's ready to hear or deal with yet.

"Well, he's wrong." He walks over to her and pulls her to him, leaning her head on his good shoulder. "Not so easy to forget."

She's shaking fairly badly and she leans only a little. "Told me they'd redecorated the room I was held in. Like I'd give a fuck."

She's not crying, not yet. That reaction will set in later.

"Told me that the guy promised him he'd never do it again. Fuck that."

She sniffs.

She can lean in as much or as little as she wants. He drapes his arm loosely over her shoulders.

"It's unlikely he'll do anything to you again, promise or not. You served your purpose."

Angela nods. She knows this. But coming out of denial hurts.

"It hurt. What he did. It hurt."

It's more of an admission than she's given since it happened.

And there are the tears.

They're angry tears, and Angela's fists clench.

"Wanna hurt something back."

"I know." He says, quietly, and probably means both about it hurting and wanting to hurt something in return.

"Just... not me, ok? Still recovering."

Angela snorts. "No, of course not."

She tightens her hold on him a bit more. "I...haven't felt much of anything about this till now. And I'm just so angry, and it hurts so much."

"Good." He rubs her arm.

"I know, but it's good that you are. You can't keep it bottled up forever." Because he's one to talk. "Angry's good. Normal."

Angela nods again.

Still shaking. "I...I gotta clean up a little." She gently pulls away, going to flush the toilet and going over to the sink and rinsing out her mouth, splashing water on her face.

She hides her face in the towel for a few moments.

He backs off, letting her do what she needs to.

"Better?"

"A bit, yeah." She folds up the towel and puts it back on the rack, heading out of the bathroom.

"Sorry if I scared you."

It's not said lightly. Angela couldn't be lighthearted right now if she tried.

Melou snorts softly.

"I hate to tell you, but you're not all that scary."

She snorts. "Well, that's good to know."

Her legs are shaking. "I've got to sit down. God, I haven't been this..." she waves her hand vaguely, "keyed up in a long time."

She sits down on the bed next to his and puts her head in her hands.

He sits beside her and rubs the small of her back. "You've got plenty of right to be."

She leans over against him. "It's just...everything that's happened to me since coming here, everything since it was September on my world, and it's all coming crashing in on me now," she says shakily.

And...it's selfish, but she misses the way he held her before he was injured. She misses it.

But this will do.

He misses it as well, and has since he got hurt. But there's nothing he can do about it.

"Had to happen sooner or later." He's personally glad it's sooner.

She nods again, her breath hitching. And starts crying again.

"Sorry," she mumbles between sobs.

She didn't think she had any more tears left. She was wrong, of course.

"It's all right." He mumbles back, a little awkwardly. He'll never get used to women crying on him.

Angela generally doesn't like crying at all. And especially in front of him, for some reason.

But she's angry and hurt and frustrated, and this is what happens when enough shit gets piled up inside of her. The conversation with Random was just the last straw.

But she doesn't cry long, mostly because she knows that it's not really going to help this time. And there's no sense in crying longer than she has to.

So, at length, she sits up, drying her eyes, and takes a deep breath. Now she's tired.

Melou doe swhat he can while she cries, letting her lean on him, stroking her back. This doesn't stop him from being relieved when she finally seems finished.

"You should lie back, get some rest." He suggests. "I can get you food or something, if you want."

"No...I don't think I'll want to be eating for a while."

Her stomach still aches. "I don't know if I'll sleep, but I'll try."

"You don't have to sleep." He stands, giving her room to stretch out. "Just rest."

Angela nods and lies down, leaving room next to her if he wants to sit.

Why do these things happen just when she's starting to feel good?

"Thank you." She gives him a small, but heartfelt smile.

Though she still wants to hurt something. She'll deal with that later.

It's Melou's experience that it'll go away, the wanting to hurt something. Eventually.

"No problem." He gives her a small smile back and sits on the edge of the bed. "Not yuor fault."

She nods again. "This should give me and Dr. Crowe something to talk about now. It's kind of hard to deal with stuff you don't want to think about."

She reaches over for his hand. "Still don't want to think about it, but now I can't help it."

Once the wall comes down, it comes down.

"It's good to have someone to talk to." Someone who can actually help.

He takes her hand, lacing his fingers with hers. "Just think, the sooner you get it all out, the sooner you can start making peace with it."

"Yeah. I certainly don't want to keep feeling like this."

She rubs at her face. "Dammit, I wish I hadn't smoked the last of my stash."

Said with a grin, but she's been wanting a joint for days now. For the first time since she'd stopped in January.

Melou raises an eyebrow.

"Stash?"

"Yeah. The stuff I used to smoke when I got tense. I smoked the last of it in January, and promised my grandfather I wouldn't smoke anymore."

She sighs. "It wouldn't help long anyway. Never did."

He hesitates momentarily.

"I could probably get you some if you relaly wanted."

Angela thinks about it. Seriously.

And then: "No...I don't think it would be a good idea. But thank you. Really. I'll deal." She pulls his hand to her lips and kisses the knuckles.

Killing the pain would just be temporary. Dealing with it would be permenent.

"Ok." Doesn't matter to him, either way.

"Anything else I can do to help, just let me know."

"I will."

Though not when he's still recovering, unless it's something he can do from the infirmary.

The burst of adrenaline from anger is fading a bit, leaving her rather drained.

"You doing okay?" she asks, looking over at him.

"Me? Yeah, I'm all right. Get the stitches out tomorrow, I think. Then I can get rid of this." He scowls down at the sling.

She smiles at him. "That's great," she says. "I'm sure you're going to get the strength in that arm back in no time."

And she's pretty sure that he'll make that happen anyway.

"I'll have to." He answers, rolling his right shoulder a little, and only wincing slightly.

"Even if it doesn't get back to where it was, I can still fight with my left."

"That's good. I think you'll be okay, though. The doctor will probably give you exercises to do."

She looks around the room. "I'll bet you'll be happy to get out of here."

Though...she's actually going to miss staying with him.

"Oh, yeah." He sighs. "I'll go nuts if I'm in here too much longer. I need to get home."

"Yeah. I'll miss you though." She smiles slightly.

"I'll be back." It's almost a standard reply by now.

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