ways_infirmary | (no subject)

The door opens, and in come Indy and Mel, tailed by a baby Triceratops and a tiny elephant, who are then instructed to wait outside.

Indy is hobbling and clutching one hand to his right side. Mel is walking gingerly as well, and her left hand is cupped in her right. Their appearance is a shambles: there's dirt and mud caked everywhere and Indy's shirt has a strip torn from the bottom of it. But... there's no blood apparent.

"Hey Hank. Party time."

He grins tiredly.

"Got a mo to patch up some intrepid explorers?"

Mel glances quickly over to where Mike's sitting at Steph's bed, and offers him a sheepish smile before turning it on the Beast.

"How's Robin?"

Hank winces as he sees their conditions, a scanner up right away. Indy had four broken ribs on his right side and a fractured tail bone. Mel was luckier, or tougher, with just broken bones in her palm.

"Oh my stars and garters...what did you two do, go swimming in a mud river? With crocodiles?"

He pushes a control to lower one of the beds so they can sit without straining.

He taps more buttons on the sensor and nods.

"She's still healing slowly. She is getting better, but it is going to be awhile."

He starts collecting bandages and wound cleaning supplies.

"Um... something like that?"

He looks at Mel.

"There was mud. And a river. And things that were kinda like crocodiles?"

"Mud, river, and crocodiles, huh?"

Mike folds his arms across his chest and raises an eyebrow.

"No crocodiles," Mel insists firmly. "There were absolutely definitely no crocodiles. Just humans, elephants and dinosaurs. That's all."

She extends her bandaged hand to Hank, not quite looking at Mike. "Just needs splinting. Don't tell him how bad it is."

Hank nods as if examining it, and he runs his hands gently over it, then glances at Indy as well. Then he raises his voice a little to speak

"I can splint this fairly easily. It will probably hurt extensively like all minor wounds do, but that is why we have the nice painkillers for you."

He lays out bit, bandages, and splint next to her side, and then looks at her. his voice a little quieter.

"As much as I respect how strong you are, this could hurt bad enough setting it... do you want to use the bit?"

Mel rolls her eyes up, and shakes her head. "No, I'm good, really."

While he waits, Indy lowers himself onto the offered bed. And then rapidly stands up again. There might have been a yelp of pain.

Sitting kinda hurts.

"Yep, Mikey. What Mel said. We had a little field trip for Stampy and Cera."

"And true to recent form, I broke my ass again."

"No big deal."

His hands gently move across the skin of Mel's hand, getting into place. He catches her eyes and nods, once.

Then his fingers are pressing and twisting and the bones move into place under his hands. Quickly, before they can slip back out of alignment, he grabs the splint and bandage and wraps the hand securely, using clips to hold it securely.

He checks his work, then nods and looks up at her.

"How does it feel?"

Mel grits her teeth and inhales sharply as he works, then nods. "That's rocketship, thanks Beast.

No point telling him about her legs. They'll heal.

So she just nods to him and goes to join Mikey.

"OK," she says as she sits on his lap. "The good news is, my powers are back..."

Indy pats Mel's shoulder as she moves away, then looks to the Beast.

"Okay, doc. Just you and me. Gimme the bad news."

He releases his ribs and twists, foolishly testing the pain.

"Agh... how many?"

Hank winces at the movement as he lays out bandages and side splints.

"Four broken ribs, and your tailbone is well and truly fractured. The good news is that I can fix you up and you will heal fairly quickly. The bad news is it is going to hurt like nobody's business..."

Hank's lips twitch.

"I suspect from your adventures that you have managed to dance this particular dance before?"

He finishes setting up then nods to the man.

"If you will lean back, without letting your bottom touch the bed, I will act as quickly as I can and make sure you dont go for a spill."

He nods to the Doctor.

"Yeah. I've broken ribs plenty of times before."

He glances around at his behind.

"Never my butt though."

He follows the orders and leans back, supporting himself on the bed and bracing himself for the resetting.

"Okay. No bit here either. Just hit me."

First, he runs his hands along the skin and gently feels where the breaks are, centering his hands.

With a deft movement, he sets one rib. His hands move to a new spot, then he does it again. He does this for each broken rib and then eases back, picking up the bandages and beginning to wrap Indy's chest and stomach area. When the wrapping is complete, he checks his work carefully.

The he nods and steps back but extends one hand to steady Indy if needed.

Indy grimaces as each bone is realigned and clenches the bed sheets into a big knot with each fist. But it's over quickly and efficiently, and he soon relaxes.

"Feels good," he notes with relief when the bindings are finally in place. He straightens and take a deep breath.

"Um... I guess the tailbone's just a heal naturally thing?"

Hank's mouth twists in a wry grin.

"Unfortunately yes. It means not sitting on anything solid or heavy for awhile, and for God's sake, don't run!"

He fishes in a cabinet and then grins as he comes up with a black donut, with one solitary duck on it.

"I acquired this some time back, but no one has needed it yet. For your tailbone and so you can sit."

He hands it over.

"I can give you some painkillers that will help you relax enough to sleep, if you feel you will need them?"

Indy takes the donut with a seriously unamused frown, and checks to see if Mike or Mel are watching. They don't seem to be, for which he's thankful.

"If you think... I'm not gonna sit... just... ugh."

He thumps the cushioned ring onto the bed in disgust. And perhaps a little resignation.

"Look, I can't guarantee that I won't have to run. But I'll try not to. I'm pretty lazy anyway. The important question is: can I have sex or not?"

Hank winces.

"I would advise against it. Even if you were not to move at all the pressure placed on that area would be enough to cause enough pain to be a definite moodkill."

He nods.

"On the other hand, as long as it isnt actually sex... and you dont put pressure on that area, you can do whatever you want. Just be careful."

Indy cups his face in his hands.

"Worst. Day. Ever."

He sighs. "Attacked by T-rex's, headbutted into a lake by a Triceratops, and now... no post-adventure sex."

He looks up at Hank mournfully. "If I get the tailbone magically fixed, can you give me a doctor's note that says sex won't hurt the ribs?"

Hank facepalms but nods.

"Yes. If you get a healer to fix it, I will certainly give you such a note."

He strives valiantly to keep any sign of a smile off his face.

"I would be quite curious in knowing which healer you would approachfor assistance in this endeavour, considering most are women."

One eyebrow rises in curiosity.

"Alanna," he says without thought. "She healed it after I got back from Egypt when it was burnt."

"She can do it through my pants," he adds.

"Say. Can you actually advise sex as part of the recuperation process?" He smirks, but it's a sincere request. "All this healing aside, I'll really owe you one if you can manage that."

Hank eyes Indy and ponders this for a moment.

"I could not honestly say you needed it, but...well, if you promise to take it easy and not re-injure your ribs in the process, I suppose the hormones and adrenalin released by such an activity would have a positive affect on the healing process. I could thus, advise a steady program of exercise of the carnal nature."

His face is, again, carefully controlled so as to not completely break down into laughter.

"Perfect. I solemnly swear to take it easy."

He looks a bit more humble.

"Um... can I get the note now? I'll go and see Alanna right away."

He eyes Indy for a long moment, but then nods.

"You promise to see her first, before using the note? In that case, I will indeed write it."

He goes to the cabinets again and reappears with a pad and a pen and scrawls a note.

Indiana Jones is advised, for the length of his recuperation, to indulge in a regular treatment and routine of sexual activity, to stimulate the nerves and the body's natural hormone levels to assist in healing.

Doctor Henry McCoy, M.D.

Indy continues to look serious and respectful. He takes the note and nods appraisingly.

"That'll work. You're a good guy, doc. Thanks."

He folds it up and puts it in his breast pocket. Let's hope he remembers to take it out before he throws the ruined shirt in the trash.

"Am I free to go? Oh... yeah... I'll take some painkillers if you were offering."

Hank nods.

"Do you have any allergies? Anything that makes you sick in particular?"

He taps several buttons on the monitor and it begins chugging away.

"Not that I know of."

He leans up against an unused IV stand while he waits. It starts to roll away... so he stops leaning on it.

Hank glances back, one eyrbrow rising. He turns back and reaches down as the Monitor finishes nd a small bottle drops into a retrieval tray.

He turns to Indy.

"Here you go; Eperitin. Two pills ever six hours... one extra if the pain gets bad... if that ownt help, find me immediately. Instructions are also on the bottle."

He nods and smiles.

"And I hope I dont have to see you under these circumstances any time soon."

"Again. Can't guarantee that, doc. But I'll do my best."

He tips the Beast a salute off the rather beaten brim of his fedora after he takes the pill bottle.

"Thanks again."

He turns and heads off, allowing the triumphant grin to surface and flinging the redundant donut at Mike and Mel as he passes. He'd like to think there was a spring in his step... but there's nothing of the sort. He's still hobbling as he takes Cera and Stampy back upstairs and hits the hot tub.