ways_infirmary | (no subject)

"She's burning" the tears still flow. As one day I will She doesn't want to let him go.

As soon as the curtain is drawn he sits next to her and lets her hold him as long as she needs to, gently stroking her back. Snowball follows in and rests his head on her knee again.

"Burns don't hurt after a while." he says gently.

"They do in Hell." she seems to be improving. Her voice is still weak but she is able to make more words. This is what sits just below the surface of Amanda's normally smiling face. There are few times where she has ben distracted enough to be genuinely happy.

Part of the reason why Abs was keen to move her away from the crowds. The waitrat appears with the glass of water, which he passes to her.

"She may not be there."

Amadna finally lets go. She accepts the water and takes a sip. Only for the first time noticing Snowball on a concious level. Placing the glass down she begins to pet his head. It's all she can do while she struggles with every word. "She is" It was something that she feared but hearing it from Magius' lips somehow made it real for her. SHe is now convinced without a doubt that her friend is in Hell. THough Abs is right Amanda doesn't really know.

Abs doesn't question it.

"How are you feeling?" he asks instead.

"Sad. Alone. Trapped. Helpless." she pick the water back up and continues to drink it. She is very thirsty after having shed all those tears.

"You aren't alone." Abs says gently. "There are lots of people who care for you. And animals." he adds, indicating Snowball who is still watching her with concern.

"You're always talking to someone. You're one of the most popular people in the entire bar! For someone who's not on staff and therefore here all the time that's one heck of an achievement."

"It's not the same. Nina was my best friend. She understood me in ways that no one else in bar could. We are so alike..." she trails off. Yes the confusion of the tenses is a problem she is having.

She leans down to kiss Snowball's forhead.

"You can get through this Amanda." Abs says, watching her. "You're a strong person, and you ain't alone."

He tries to get eye contact.

"Why trapped?"

"I like this place. You know that but I don't liked being confined." yes she is saying that she is bound, "I try to pretend as though I'm not but I am. I'm trapped by my own Desires. Torn by what I want and what I think is right. Everything used to be so simple. I would do as I pleased with little or no concern for the conciquences just enjoying myself and now...." Possibly more then he wanted to know. But she is broken and therefore babbling.

Abs listens to her patiently until she has said all she needs to.

"Everyone needs to do things for themselves, to fuel their own desires."

He hesitates. "Do you feel like you are trapped by broken people?"

Looking into his eyes, "No" she understands what he was asking and why but it is clear that she is telling the truth.

[OOC: evil boy. Desire would love to know he said that to Amanda. Hears Bansh cackling in background.]

Abs nods. "Okay, just asking."

He doesn't know anything about the personification of Desire in the bar.

"How are you sleeping?"

Amanda loses eye contact with Abs. She has been having nightmares for over a month. But that is something that only Snowball and Lobo would know.

Trying to buy sometime she reaches for the water and takes a sip.

Abs and Snowball watch her for a moment. The pig speaks.

"Would you like me to leave the room comrade?"

Amandashakes her head, "No." afterall Snowball already knows.

Her shaky hands holding her cup of water, "I have been having nightmares. Lots of them."

Abs gently steadies the cup in her hands.

"Do you want to talk about them?"

"There isn't anything unusual or unperdictable about them. The usual, screams, blood, bones, demons, fire, death, destruction. They are really more memories then dream."

Abs nods.

"How long has this been going on? Have you spoken to anyone or tried anything to stop them?"

"It's been going on for a little over a month now." Abs had noidea did he. yeah she's good like that. Usually, "No" she answers both of his other questions.

Abs smiles a little.

"Well there ain't that much I can do for you except be here for you and help you go through your options. Have you thought about sleeping tablets?"

"I can't. It's too dangerous and as I said they are memories. Drugs wont make them go away." and really she has never been one to do anything that would affect her mind like that. Her mind is her most valuable weapon.

"No, they won't make them go away, you're right. And that wasn't the aim I meant. Nothing safe will make them go away, but other things might make them easier to live with. A good night's sleep once in a while for one, but it's entirely up to you and I won't pressurise you."

He's just glad she's talking in sentences.

Yes it's a vast improvement. She may be avoiding the fireplace for a few days.

She smiles, "I do on ocassion. Do you know Lobo?"

Abs shakes his head. "Sorry, no."

Snowball puts his trotters on the side of the bed. "If you have a description or scent of him I could go and look for him if you want."

Amanda hugs Snowball, "That's quite alright I usually know where to find him." she smiles sweetly, "He has been helping me get some sleep. " that last part was more for Abs.

SHe raises her head to face Abs, "He and I are dating." wow Abs may be only the second or third person that Amanda has told. Nina and Magius possibly being the first. "Not exclusively." she adds as an after thought.

Snowball never has trouble sleeping. Most of his dreams involve sheep standing in a field singing the 'four legs good, two legs bad' song.

Abs nods. "Well that's good. You need someone who can support you and make you feel better."

"And forget. At least for a time." her smile is warm. It would be hard to believe that Lobo was the scourge of the Universe by Amanda's reaction.

Looking at her two friends, "Thank you. But I don't mean to keep you. I'll be fine."

"I'm in no hurry Amanda. I'll stay as long as you need me to."

He watches her carefully. "Would you like to stay in here tonight? We have plenty of space and I could wake you up when your nightmares get too intense."

Amanda looks around and only just realizes where she is and she shudders. "No thank you."

She stands up, "I think I'm going to go for a run."

[OOC: Figure this is millitimed toafter her conversation with Guppy so she is only wearing a tanktop.]

Abs nods a little and smiles.

"Okay, you know where I am if you need me."

Snowball nudges her gently. "And I. Take care comrade."

Amanda bends down and kisses Snowball on the head again, "Thank you Comrade" standing again she gives Abs a hug, "And thank you."

"Any time." Abs says, hugging her back gently.

He watches her go worriedly.