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[futures_of_ash]

Pain. It's a world unto itself really. An existance where one tries not to move, tries not to breathe, tries not to do so many things in the vain hope that the pain will lessen. Pain follows it's own rythym, forcing the heart and lungs into it's cadence of ebb and flow...

It pulses.

And, she's stubborn. She knows the game. Breathe shallowly, keep your eyes closed, count heart beats.

One

Two...

Three

Don't scream. It hurts. It's going to be her world for awhile, out of the haze of sleep that drugs and exhaustion brought on. It's okay...she knows the game.

Comments

[inquisitivehero]

And look, it's the man with the nice pain-killing drugs!

He comes by and smiles, a little at her, but his eyes are very sharp and worried. He nods.

"Hello Rachel."

[futures_of_ash]

Her eyes track him very nicely, only the deep shadows in the emerald belying anything wrong at all. Then again, she's been shadowed since her return, so that's no real sign either.

::Hank:: at least her sending is a little stronger today. Some strengths return quicker than others.

[inquisitivehero]

He speaks and echoes the words in his mind, hoping thast helps.

"Hello. How bad is it today? The truth, please."

[futures_of_ash]

Count the heartbeats...

two thousand twenty eight...

two thousand twenty nine...

::Not as bad as fletchettes, whiprs,chains, or knives...little worse than burns::

[inquisitivehero]

He nods.

"okay."

He measures out a specific amount of pain killer and then puts it into the hypospray.

he waves at her neck.

"May I?"

[futures_of_ash]

She'd love painkiller. In fact, she craves it...but there's also the side effect of making the shadows deeper. It isn't pleasant. One need versus another...

::Alright:: No one ever said prices were easy to pay.

[inquisitivehero]

Hank nods, he kniows something of that.

He presses the hypospray home, the painkiller sliding into her bloodstream immediately.

then he sits and watches her.

"What have you been doing ?"

[futures_of_ash]

:Fishing for glass:: in her mind. And when that caused too much evetual damage...

::Counting heartbeats::

[inquisitivehero]

He nods.

"Mental excercises are good. But dont push too hard. Your resources are stretched thin right now. "

He smiles softly.

"I am glad you are... able to do that."

[prince-arithon.livejournal.com]

And there is music.

He's back, right there near her, singing quietly.

[futures_of_ash]

Three thousand forty four...

three thousand forty five...

Her eyes are open, they're watching him, but forgive her fornot moving, she really can't at the moment. The slightest hint of a smile twitches her lips though, and she blinks slowly, her mental sending slow and exhausted ::Ari...::

She's had nightmares, and lessons, and drug dreams...and now she's not so bad mentally for the moment, focusing on the very physical helps with that. She's actually happy to see him though. She truly is.

[prince-arithon.livejournal.com]

"Rachel."

He sings it as much as says it, reaching a hand out to smooth her hair back. The song continues,

"I am sorry that I had to leave. How are you doing?"

And requests truth, no matter how hard it is.

[futures_of_ash]

It's alright he had to leave, there's not a single hint of anger or sorrow that he had. She expects others to have lives, and is glad for thetime she does get. Her eyes are still shadowed though, that deep well of pain and blood certainly no less.

It's just her mental reservesthat are frightfully low.

::Not so good:: she admitted after a moments quiet thought. ::Did something...not stupid, don't regret it...but wore me out:: and the rest is a little obvious, her words and her focus on the physical help hides the scent of blood in her mind, but she's certainly not standing on the shore of that dark lake, no.

[prince-arithon.livejournal.com]

Not standing on the shores of a dark lake is good. He nods, and opens himself to her,

"Anything you need, I grant you without hesitation."

[futures_of_ash]

Unless one is swimming and ignoring the fact...but that's her call for now. And, because he probably wouldn't accept otherwise, she draws just a little strength from him. Enough to set a single layer of pain dampers on her mind. It helps.

It help shores up her telepathy a bit too, interesting to note ::Thank you:: yes, she will keep saying it. She can't not for such selflessness.

::Have you seen Mel?:: there's an almost maternal worry in that question. It presses on her mind, not being able to check on the girl herself...

[prince-arithon.livejournal.com]

He won't try to stop her from saying thank you. What he does do is lean down and kiss her forehead like a parent with their child,

"Of course, my little one. And, please. Remember that I am quite capable of drawing extra energy from Ath. It costs me nothing to help you."

He's a Sorcerer. His magic does not come from within.

"I have. She looks very good, is very happy. You helped her."

[futures_of_ash]

She's just not used to drawing on others. The very concept makes her shrink within herself a little. She's always had to be enough, for herself, for others. She was enough.

Drawing on others changes that.

She smiles though and draws a bit more for the pain ::It just doesn't seem right Ari...::It feels like being a leech. She's known those who can kill a person in such ways...and she admits that she herself has hunted and feasted so before becoming human but...

The dark musing and memory thoug is washed away for a moment in blessed relief. ::Good. I can't help but worry...:: after all, she'd raised Mel from a child in her mind. She can't forget that easily.

[loyaltyinmotion.livejournal.com]

A blond head peeks into the infirmary. Hey, see? He's in the infirmary. Twice in about a week, and he's not even the patient. Must be a record.
He sees Rachel and gives a gentle smile, slipping around the corner.

He leans down and holds up a small bouquet. Not flowers, but some of the few more attractive evergreen plants in the forest. What? There are no flowers this time of year...

"Hey, how you feeling?"

[futures_of_ash]

And evergreens always did smell nicer anyway. She offers a small smile, and to one such as Jason, well, it's obvious she's in bad shape. She's not even floating anymore...but she's at peace with that.

::Remembered how to hurt:: she chuckled grimly in his mind. ::Lost my own kind of pain killer for awhile...::

She's curled up tightly on her side, knese to her chin, it's a very familiar position for her, but that also leaves room for visitors to sit on the bed now doesn't it? ::How are you?::

[loyaltyinmotion.livejournal.com]

"Better than you," he murmurs, placing the bouquet next to the bed and sitting softly next to her.

"Don't they have you on anything?" He can smell it; the pain pulsing off her. He knows it, and knows what it's like without the drugs.

[futures_of_ash]

::I'm too damaged to handle too much drugs:: she sighed, although she's not exactly sad about that. The drugs screw with her head, and since her mind is her greatest strength...well...

::Pain is nothing new at all. And I'll have myself back up and about in a few days...just need to recover strength::

It's nice to have a hint of green in here though. A hint of outside. She misses the lake, so very deeply. It's one of her focal points for sanity...and she can't get herself out there. ::You've been sleeping well?:: it may seem an odd question, but it's one she find herself asking often. She hates to know what nightmares meeting her mind can engender...especially after sharing darker memories...

[loyaltyinmotion.livejournal.com]

He nods. "That sucks. I know the feeling though. You look like you're doing well though."

He cocks his head, studying her after she asks how he's been sleeping.
Why would she ask...oh. He smiles.

"I've been sleeping fine. You don't have to worry about me." He grins broadly. "I'm tough like that."
Or something.

[futures_of_ash]

::I always worry:: it's what she does. She's a hero after all, though she may not look it.

And it's a little hard to be depressed around a vibrant man such as Jason now isn't it? ::I hatet think what I looked like the other day if this is well:: she pointe dout, almost teasing. Barely.

[loyaltyinmotion.livejournal.com]

"Is that a hero thing or a woman thing? No, must be a hero thing; I keep meeting women who go against stereotype."

He turns that smile on her, full force. Yeah, he's a charmer.

"Yeah, but I can't wait to see you when you're 100%. I may have to pick my jaw up off the floor."

[futures_of_ash]

::Hero I'm afraid, never got the hang of the other:: the small is bittersweet now, but true none the less. ::But hey, it gets me spandex::

She knows from their last talk that it's a habit with him to flatter people. She still doesn't understand it, but hey, if it makes him happy...she shifted slowly and carefully to press her cheek against his knee for a moment in thanks, then chuckled mentally ::I don't hit a 100% either...it's just not in the cards. When I'm closer though I'll take you out on the lake if you like...:: she's learned that people seem to enjoy sitting and walking on water...